HAPPY EASTER fellow bloggers

I have had a day that has given me a sence of acheivement (has broken my back too but feel good at the same time) In all the years Jimmy and I didn lawn mowing I never touched the weedeater it wasnt my job I never wanted to learn even how to start it...today I weekeated and weed sprayed my drive and I live in a back section so its not a short drive...I feel like my back is brocken dont think I mentioned that heheh but I dun it all by myself...the weed line thingy and I still are negotiating who is boss at the moment i am lossing but we will see about that next time.one thing at a time I say. I agree that the weedeater is only electric where as Jimmy's one where bloody big petrol things one u needed a harness to hold it on ya back oit was so big and a killer thing but my little petrol one and me will become friends soon perhaps.

Going to plant my tulip bilbs mum bought me for easter eggs next tuli bulbs not so hard on the calories and in a few months I'll enjoy the beautiful flowers. I also have some freesias to plant LOVE THEM and couldnt grow them in twizel dispite trying for many years before giving up had some in the flat but left them when I moved out from Alan

Off out tonight to a singles doo at the casino so after planting the bulbs I'm having a long hot soak in the bath and doing nothing else this afternoon gotta look my best after all

Oh by the way for those that knew Anthony(my son), was in Chch for the weekend nope never heard from him not a whisper so guess now I'll have to just eat the caromello chocolate I bought hime MYSELF.

ok back out into the garden before my body completley seizzes(sp) up

my fitnesss pal

I listened to a webinar with Annette Sym (Symply to good to be true) last night and she reminded me about the myfitnesspal website so I started loading my foods in again hhhmmm we see we are not eating as well as we thinks we is so hopefully it will get me motivated again. Went to pool yesterday

Having a sleep over with the girls on Tuesday so excted about that I have so much fun when they r here giggling gertties and I'm sure my bathroom only dried out from there last visit heheh

got no 'plans' as such for Easter as I am working Saturday but hope to go out Sunday night a singles group thing at Casino..have a mountain of washing to catch up with too.

April 5, 2012

Foods

Calories

Carbs

Fat

Protein

Cholest

Sodium

Sugars

Fiber




Breakfast



Yogurt - Plain, low fat (1% fat), 0.5 container (4 oz)

71

8g

2g

6g

7mg

79mg

8g

0g



Coffee - Black, 6 fl oz

0

1g

0g

0g

0mg

5mg

0g

0g



Peaches - Raw, 1 cup slices

66

16g

0g

2g

0mg

0mg

14g

3g



Kellogg's - Bran Flakes, 15 g

54

27g

1g

4g

0mg

240mg

4g

5g



Lunch



Homemade - Beef Stew Meat, 1 oz

33

0g

1g

5g

65mg

46mg

0g

0g



Cauliflower - Cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 0.5 cup (1" pieces)

14

3g

0g

1g

0mg

9mg

1g

2g



Heinz - Traditional Broad Beans (Frozen), 18.75 g

10

0g

0g

1g

0mg

1mg

0g

1g



Carrots - Cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 1 tbsp

3

1g

0g

0g

0mg

6mg

0g

0g



Dinner



Arnold's - Healthy Multi-Grain - Honey Wheat Bread, 2 slice

200

40g

3g

8g

0mg

340mg

4g

6g



Cheese - Colby, 2 slice (1 oz)

221

1g

18g

13g

53mg

338mg

0g

0g



Meadow Lea - Margarine, 10 g

57

1g

7g

1g

0mg

59mg

1g

0g



Ham - Sliced, regular (approximately 11% fat), 2 serving 2 slices

183

4g

10g

19g

64mg

1,460mg

0g

1g



Snacks



Fruju - Fruit Whip - Pineapple & Passionfruit, 94 ml

58

14g

0g

0g

0mg

5mg

13g

0g



Rj's Licorice - Licorice Choc Logs, 2 log (40g)

306

58g

7g

3g

0mg

88mg

40g

2g



Fruit - Banana -Medium, 1 whole

105

27g

0g

1g

0mg

1mg

14g

3g




TOTAL:

1,381

201g

49g

64g

189mg

2,677mg

99g

23g


Food Notes

if I didnt have my snacks today my fibre and sugar would have been nearly spot on what in those snack were needed hhhmmm note to self

feeling great

well how could u not the sun is out its a glorious day and I have it off I am off for lunch with friends went to movies last night seen the exotic Marigold Hotel with Judi Dench and Maggie Smith as I assumed it would be a delightful movie...then went on to a couple of bars home about midnight...now tell me why I consumed a big bag of potato crisps when I got home after such a great night and feeling good gggrrr I am/was so angry with myself. This morning when I got up I threw the remainder of bag (not much) in the red rubbish bin with all the crapp rubbish which is what they r

Mum is doing ok suppose to be taking it easy but she was washing net curtains the other day ggrr. Her sist is there visiting this week which of course why she was stressing about the house being spotless but it will be good for her to have them there

right best go get this body trussed up and looking glam and gorgeous takes longer these days to get dress cause i give a toss about my appearance not like the old days didnt care what I wore. and i LOVE it

well Paul swanned in here this morning looking very sheepish...I suspect he had been contacted by the police cause he knew I had been to see them...he had been with someone who cared he said-FUCK did that hurt. We spoke, mostly loudly on my part whch pissed me off cause I didnt want to loose it but I was so tired and upset about him and Mum I did loose it, he said he probably wouldnt meet a kinder person I said yeah u probably wont but dont worry he had fixed that-kindness isnt going to be topp of my 'to do' list in the future (of course that isnt what will happen because I can't help myself)

He wasnt very happy that his stuff was at his daughters TOUGH. He being with his father was all a lie he never seen him.

I told him that I was just a stop gab until he found something else and the last 11 months was just a game to him he denied it but that is how I feel.

I was upset while he was here hurt angry and lots of other emotions. But after he left I turned on Savage Garden really loud (so Chris in heavan and I could listen together) I washed the dishes I tidied the bench etc and put out side his microwave piece of junk I had forgotten when packing his shit. bloody great heavy thing took up 3/4 of bench wasnt wat we needed. Then I went and had a shower I was so cold and then had a sleep for couple hours feel loads better.

I rung the police while he was here to tell them he had turned up...they rang back an hour or so later to see that I was alright.

He is to 'find' my bike and I'll give him the passports back he wasnt happy about that. Not sure what he meant by that.

he said as he left he'd keep in touch I laughed and said that was a load of shit he couldnt keep in touch when we were together.

I was way to upset to drive to Timaru so i rung Mum again she sounded disapointed but understood...she was also relieved he wasnt dead in a ditch as was I and I said that to him when I opened the door oh well your not dead then.

Another one to put down to experience when and if I ever find someoen else boy will they have some boxes to tick b4 I get past getting to know them.

oh for fuck sake

how much more can I take

at 3 this afternoon I offically listed Paul as missing with the police lots of red tape and questions i didnt want to answer but they were very supportive etc

then I went to my councilling and aired a few things and sorted my head a bit driving home from there and get a txt from my aunty ring Twizel NOW what the fuck so rung to be told Mum was in an ambulance on way to Timaru probably heart attack havn't rung yet cause she will hardly be there yet so going to have a bath and then ring but just had to blab to someone cant post on face book cause my son may see it and he hasnt been rung yet I just rung him thats a call I didnt want to make hes in Sydney very close to his grandma and u could tell he was in shock...his job is driving so hope he ok...he was coming oveer end of month for a Wedding hope he doesnt have to come sooner.

god I'm all tied in knots now and really stressing-still havnt heard a peep for him I did the big I am thing this morning got up packed all his stuff wasnt much only took just over 20 minutes dropped it at his daughters as I sadi I would the grand gesture but I am truely really worried now so much so i rung the cops he will kill me when he finds out. He hasnt to there knowledge been in an accident she took lots of details and if he hasnt arrived at wrk tomorrow we will list him as missing god what have i done now he will kill me


Had a lovely day between stressing...cleaned the pantry like ya do when worrying
striped the bed wahsed all the linen etc vacummed thru tried keeping busy talked on phone for couple hours to a friend and my mum trying to keep busy

then I took Brooke to the beach for a couple hours took my moind off things for a while had a nice time even walked on the peir I have never mustered up enough courage to EVER do that

right I am exhausted and need to at least try and get some sleep if no other reason i have wrk tomorrow and if he does turn up I dnt want to be so tired i cant keep focused...oh boy is my councillor gonna earn her money tomroow

well a day of cleansing and not a toxic chemical in site

some more decluttering done here hehhe

I had a boarder well that has how its felt for last few months any ways a boarder in my bed...he moved in (not completely just stuff and most nights but an invasion all the same) not sure how I let it happen but it did well after great deliberation and thought filled sleepless nights I have moved what stuff that was here out onto deck and if it isnt gone by this afternoon I'll drop it around to his daughters.

I dont know if he is dead or alive no police reports accidents or death noticed listed I have looked online as ya do

I left here on Wednesday to go out for the day I had already made arrangments he was 'sick' so didnt go to work...i got home about 4 he wasnt here neither was my bike and helmet I might add (He will get back his passport when I get my bike back) So I cooked tea as usual and ate tea alone, got a txt about 8 to say he was at airport picking up his father (coming over from Ozie for a family birthday on the 17th) he and his father didnt have a great relationship so I replied great hope it goes well. Never heard another word until the tursday night I'll be back Friday
um from where I asked no reply...I suspect they he and his dad went to Geraldine or Timaru another elderly family friend had a fall last week broke leg/hip/arm something like that and was in Timaru hospital...just my thoughts I hadnt been told anything. So i thought ok see ya Friday we'll talk then but i'll be giving till Sunday (making time for his family birthday which I might add I hadnt been invited to to happen) well he never came rung txt or didnt any other form of communication Friday Saturday and at 8.35 Sunday i packed his stuff nicely in a case and some bags (shoes etc) and they r on the deck. i am a bit miffed that I never got to say my speech I had prepared and practised but hey never mind.

I meet him on the 19th April last year so just shy of 11months of good and bad times a waste of time

check out the new ticker GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL
on my face book photos I wrote proud of myself and I am not something I say often also realised it is the lowest adult weight I have ever been
HOW COOL AND AMAZING IS THAT

after cleaning house and shifting around more of my crap actually it the same crap each time just trying to find ahome for it all-culled a bit more and its rubbish bin night so went out in the dark and filled several of the neighbours bins as well as mine, but still a shit load of crap to sort thru. anyhow after 2 days of that my house looks almost presentable...even managed to get spare bed up with pretty linen on it yippee maybe I can invite people to visit now.

Took myself to dinner at Lonestar (Johny Cash Stash yummo) and the movies tonight - went and seen the George Clooney movie the Desendents ok sorta movie few laughs few tears

Nothing much planned for tomorrow might go over and do some aqua jogging and have a spa at JellyPark Pool-none of my usual Monday appointments are on cause of the public holiday. Getting my hair coloured on Thursday which is my usual pool day and wont be able to go the following week either cause got other stuff on.

While at walking group last Thursday I seen a lovely print I am going to buy so maybe I'll go get it tomorrow...its cherry red poppies will brighten up my lounge and as everyone keeps telling me I dnt need ANYMORE CLOTHES SHOES OR HANDBAGS a print for the wall might have to be it.

Well as it is 12.42am all of the tomorrow statements should really read today. think it might be bed time for this chick/chook good night all

had a great lunch with the WLS support group agan as usual yummy roast pumpkin and feta salad of course bought more home than I ate so tea is sorted just cook salmon and avocardo sweet easy peasy

had a buzz moment on Thursday posted on facebook so most of u wll have seen it but wanted to record it here for me when i having a bad day an d go back over my posts

got to hairdresser and the waiting area was full only 1 seat left on the small couch sat down no problem no squishing the other lady infact we didnt even touch no uncomfortable moment just sat there doing a wee internal yeah moment and happy dance...while talking about it today I was reminded of a time at troy's hair dressers in Twizel when his chair broke under my weight so he would have a stronger kitchen chair for me to sit in when I would come to the salon he was very good and didnt ever make a big fuss but it was a FAT moment I had forgotten...normal moments are taking over.

was suppose to go to a duathlon but when I woke and it was blowing I snuggled back into bed and said nup I dont want ta go

ok off to cook my salmon

just to keep me accountable i'll post this too...

• as of today 13/01/2012 a new goal has been set

2012 I will;
Eat better
More veges
More pulses
Less chocolate and sweets
Cook meals for work
Chicken/fish 8x a week
Eat off smaller plate again
Eat slower
Drink water

Join walking group at Riccarton Mall
Walk 2 work 3x week
Go to Aqua classes pioneer/jelly pool
Bike 10k track at Hagley Park at least once a week

Starting weight 97k
2012 loss 12k
Goal 85k

By January 2013
1k a month loss
Total overall loss 87k

been a good few days
food has been ok
walked to wrk
water has been up still not fantastic but up
no chocolate or lollies have had a couple of frujus after wrk

ive set up a new bank account $20 a week till January called it 85 fund i will do something special just for me not sure what yet

I'm off tomorrow to buy new pair of shoes

• as of today 13/01/2012 a new goal has been set

2012 I will;
Eat better
More veges
More pulses
Less chocolate and sweets
Cook meals for work
Chicken/fish 8x a week
Eat off smaller plate again
Eat slower
Drink water

Join walking group at Riccarton Mall
Walk 2 work 3x week
Go to Aqua classes pioneer/jelly pool
Bike 10k track at Hagley Park at least once a week

Starting weight 97k
2012 loss 12k
Goal 85k

By January 2013
1k a month loss
Total overall loss 87k

some lousy low life fucken prick stole my car today while I was at work
I am so fucken angry I could spit
First thing I wanted to do was eat second thing was kill
of course all of my linen was also in the car so that is my business fucked too
yeah and all of this fun for a lousey bloody 13 dollars an hour and sore feet and back the joy of it all
yes I am insured but that isnt going to get back all my linen etc before my next party on tuesday it isnt going to give me a car tomorrow to get the washing to the laundrette to get it dried and it isnt going to get me to spend the day I was so looking forward to out with Brooke and the Chloes on Monday not to mention all the other things that I have to do or the fact I am so pissed off my blood pressure is sky high

http://www.grouponnz.co.nz/

great deal for the saggy bits thought i'd share

i have ordered a 'thing' to support my saggy arms from slimpressions thru the wls meet and greet and am so excited for this to arrive order sent yesterday according to email but today this offer came thru from groupon so have bought 2 body suits I have one of these already and they are fantastic and no roll down like my others. i will look so hot in my size 14 jeans my 16c bra and my size small (yeap small) body tee with the animal print cardy
wow smokin' hot hehehhe

went shopping for black pants but came home woth a bra it was black but wont cover much of me bum bing it is a size 16c and all down from 22dd

yahhhhoooo 16c 16c 16c 16c 16c

working sucks
I am stuffed
I am tired
I am sore
I am to old for this shit

went to dentist yesterday and had another tooth out dentist was amazed at how big the root was and it took a lot of heeving to remove it he showed it to me and yup it was a biggun for sure...took it home but the tooth fairy didnt leave me nothing typical. So its soft food for me for a few days-but how come my brain says that means I can eat icecream...havnt even thought ice cream in months but straight away oh yeah means i can eat ice cream-having yogurt as we speak.

had a nice night out at pub on Wednesday I'll be going again yes yes yes music was good and nice company. best bit is my shift at work is such that I dnt start thrusday until 3.30pm so I can go out wednesday night and it not affect my sleep heheh

got a few chores to attend to today that have been building up, while I was sick. I have mountain of washing to take to laundrette to dry towels and sheets mainly. Small stuff I can put on clothes horse(dnt have a line here) but the sheets and towels go around crn to laundrette $4 a load and its done but will be more toady cause there is at least 3 loads. While washing is cooking I'll shoot to countdown (guess shopping at c/down will feel like being a traitor now like when I got to briscoe or bath and beyond) they have boneless chicken breast on specail and they had none at pak n save yesterday and I forgot to get feta cheese yesterday. Then home to do the mountain of dishes that seem to have appeared on the bench over night where do they come from...

got a linen party tonight just around road so that will be nice to not have to travel to far

at last an up in my life...I got a job, not a wonderful job by any means but it might be the difference between buying food and clothes. I will be a checkout chick at pak'n'save told ya it wasn't glamorous. Go in to sign my paper work and pick up uniform on Monday start tuesday but i will be telling them I am not available to work Nov 18-20 cause I am in Palmerston Nth not missing that for anything.

ok I am out of here off out dancing at local pub with a few gals from singles group, wasnt going to go then thought bugger it y not just cause I only got $7 to my name doesnt mean I have to stay at home and mope.

dont know how far I'll get but...

here goes.

September 2nd sitting up at 3am because I have the cough from hell and lie down makes me cough more...my throat is so sore from heavy breathing and coughing.

Where am I at otherwise-Well i am living at my girlfriends house. A lovely girlfriend she is to let me live here..she now lives out of town and house was empty. I had a very rough 6mths or so after Alan and I split up and still days when I'd go back if he was to ask, knowing all the time this is toxic and the wrong thing. I miss what i wanted from him(hadn't had it for a long time but still miss it) I also miss Brooke, so arranged a catch up (thru her mother)with her last week when Mum was in town so that was very special and I hope to do it again not often but maybe once before Xmas hell that not far away.

And the weight well i am a size 18 I am weighing in at 97.9 and I am feeling bloody marvellous...some days I still think fat and ugly but nice clothes etc help conquer those thoughts. like tonight I was at a meeting the face heater came on over my head making me cough I got up to sit on another chair (white plastic picnic chair you all know the type we fear) I thought I cant sit in that it will break and then thought ah hello that is the old fat you this you wont break a chair this you there is room in it this you can be comfortable sitting in it without fear.

check out the new diet ticker how cool are those numbers

I'm back and so many developements

I had an awesome break...made a lot of dissions main one being ALAN must move out. It just isnt good for me him 'flating'here its kills me I have to get on and over him. So I have told him he has to go he was looking like being a pain about it but he then thought about it and he has said he will go I have given him till end of month to find something. He also has a custdoy hearing mid month that he needs to get over but that isnt my worry I HAVE TO LOOK AFTER ME.

I have no idea how I am going to aford living here alone so best get some more shit loaded on trade me and pick up the linen parties REAL soon. I am mindful this is the problem I had when marriage split up I wrked so much to keep house (and still lost it) that I had no concept of time and food consumption and gained back most of my weight lost.

I have just book to do the Dunedin marathon cool. Moro Marathon is a tough one cause a lot of hills but I have done it before so it can be done. Also going to do Chch city to surf in March (12k) and Chch Marathon in June so I have a challenge for the year.
So havnt got time to be sitting around mopping over broken heart and lost love.

http://www.moromarathon.co.nz/training_schedule.php

Also want to go to Elton John concert in November in Dunedin

for now I need to get my shit together for today

I have a meeting with councoller at 12.30 coffee group with WLS girls at 2 and pool at 5 then support group meeting for WLS clinic at 6.30 so am thinking I might flagg pool and go for a 30 min walk instead...I can park at the clinic and go for a wlak around the block then just go to the meeting.(suppose to have Zumba at 7.15 but cant do that tonght so hope to go tom morning)

just got this in an email oh how true

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

off to Invercargill tomorrow

yeah I am so looking forward to the break away...god I dnt do anthing what do I need a break for but the house/home life is a real strain and bloody HARD work I can tell you.

I weighted in with a 4 k loss for the 2 weeks so was stoked with that

Went to The Court Theatre last night to c The Caberat is was great I really enjoyed it.

did I say I was off to Invercargil tomorrow

More clothes that are to big for me so might have to do some shoppinbg REAL soon hell cant be down to less than 30 pairs of pants that just would never do. Mind u winter stock will be dribbling in the stores soon so guess might be good to wait it out till then.

Applied for another 6 jobs

went for a lovely walk along the beach this afternoon...had been to my Eating Councoller and some real deep shit came out bring up some not good thoughts about me and my life so I decided not good to dwell on it or comfort eat which i would normally do I will put it to a good use so the walk along beach it was lovely not many there over cast but still nice little bit of wind. GREAT, then grocery shopping with sandy feet so left my shoes off very not corporate looking but ha i was comfortable and that wat counts.

Have been asked to look after my cousin while his wife goes up nth so that is 3 days in March good money too

was chuffed with myself this morning I booked 3 linen parties into Ashburton for wkend of 12/13 Feb so that cool I'll stay in a motel for the night. I did a wee dance I've got it Iam back i have the buzz...a busy week that one 11th 12 and 13th 4 parties hoping for a $3000 week, might make enough to get the start of my teeth fixed...they r getting REAL bad WILL GO TO DENTIST get the bottom one that has been aching since my birthday out when i get home...the hole is so big it whistles and sounds daft when I am talking.

ok best go get the tea started see ya next week when I back

oh my god Just got back from having tea checked the NZDating site and I had a message from my ex husband too funny...he was very polite commented on how good I am looking.

cant believe it is the 23rd Jan already

how did that happen only 1 week of January left wow

I dnt know that I have done anything exciting have applied for several jobs with no luck so have decided to get stuck back into my linen and as we have a sale on at present a good time to get into it

massive 25% off all stock...

www.linenparties.com

Jo check out the gorgeous baby range.

joined a singles group havnt had any 'dates' as such but been out couple times with the group.
went to Mini golf last weekend with a group of gals from WLS group fun but I suck at mini golf hehehe
off to court Theatre on Monday night with a friend to see Cabaret should be good
and I must get to the Movies to see Burlesque with Cher

ok best go and get beautiful have linen party this afternoon

well thats that then

its 5pm ad no phne call so didnt get the job pretty upset and fell like crap actually.

last night was enjoyable...went to a singles group and surprise myself i even spoke to several people and even some of them was men go figure. had a good tine and will go again...some of the woman get togehter too so that will be great need more contact with the world and get out there. didnt get home till nearly 12 so feeling it now nana nap time before I got to go out to a meeting at 7.30

how yummy does this sound

SCALLOP AND BACON SALAD - I will be making this one I am sure


Ingredients
Dressing Ingredients:

Juice of 3 limes
1 tsp grated ginger
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 tbsp light soy sauce
4 tbsp brown sugar
6 tbsp sesame oil
Generous pinch of salt


Salad Ingredients:

130g Krispcut Mesclun and Herbs
1 punnet pea shoots
2 avocados, diced
4 rashers bacon, thinly sliced
20 scallops
1 red onion, finely sliced
1 red pepper, finely sliced
2 tbsp oil
MethodIn a small bowl mix together all the dressing ingredients and set aside.
Arrange the mesclun mix, pea shoots and avocado on a serving platter.
Heat a wide, non-stick frying pan and cook the bacon until lightly browned. Remove the bacon from the pan and set aside.
Add the oil and the scallops and cook until lightly browned on both sides. About 2 minutes each side.
Add the bacon back to the pan with the red onion and red pepper and quickly stir together.
Remove the pan from the heat and add the dressing, stir to coat then immediately spoon over the prepared salad greens and serve immediately.
Serves 4


Been for a 5 k walk today great stuff

Job interveiw didnt go at all well yesterday and I am not holding out much hope at all so disapointed inmyself for getting so churned up and so therefore couldnt focus. god help me if I can answer a flippen phone at WINZ what chance is there for me at any job.

guess where I am off to tonight

I leave u guessing on that one get back to you.

Am organising a game of mini golf for Saturday so looking forward to that.

ok vege stack for tea so best move my butt

day 2 or interveiw process today

my appointment is 4.30 this afternoon so have to keep busy today so dnt get all churned up about it...off soon to do groceries that will keep me busy.

yesterday was an introduction I came away less confident though as there was like 22ppl and only 10 jobs so someone is going to miss out. But all my credit and police checks will be cool and my referees so hopefully some of the 22 will be knocked out there somewhere. I like what they said about the job and am SURE I can do it afterall it is customer service and that is what I have done for about 15 years.

ok its now after 11 so best move myself have a great day and I'll report back later

I just come across this a bit of light smut that made me smile hope it doesn affend
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=2Qdb6wC0Iz4&feature=player_embedded

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

day of mixed emotions

got a card from Alan and Brooke this morning but the words he wrote in it have upset me
best wishes are coming your way and with each step you take today-takes you further from your past - and s one step closer to a bright new future...what the fuck does that mean.

Of course havent heard from Anthony no surprises there.

have had lots of lovely Brithday txts emails and facebook comments from pple who do care so that is nice

have a few ppeople coming around for an impromtue pot luck tea so that will be nice and I am not stressed about it I hav made my stock standard broken glass jelly and also crumbed mushrooms stuffed with blue cheese. House is tidy and I am sitting with my feet up and have just painted my toenails so waiting for them to dry before I go find somehting that i am sure needs doing.

Shouted myself a back shoulder and neck massage on Friday for my b/day also got my face waxeed and new acrylis nails...it was while having massage that I got a phoen call about the...
big news of the week...I have a job interveiw tomorrow at WINZ customer service call centre(glorified telephone answerer but hey it a job) I think I was a bot ambisous with the retail work standing 4 hrs a day near killed me so 40hrs a week would have been the end of me but this will be great. Interveiw tomorrow then go Tuesday to see if I need firther training or can start straigth away or need further training and can under stand there system etc also get security photo taken so I am a little bit excited that that sounds VERY promising.
Got my hair booked for a cut tomorrow at 11.15 after aqua jogging and then tuesday Ngaire and I are off to Avonhead merrin St tavern for tea to either celebrte or comiserte eitherway, I have a free meal coupon for my birthday cause I am a loyalty member. Also got one frm Fox and Ferret so going there on Thursday with mate from Twizel for lunch.

ok best be off

interesting listening

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se32MuJCFXk&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeeAVkF_TeE&feature=channel

maybe I need to go to bed tonight b4 1.30 10pm bedtime for me
that will be interesting

the day after Zumba

and I can still move as amazing as that sounds.
Actually to be honest I know I didnt put my all into the class so no suprise really.
I do know I have no co-ordination rythem or bounce in my body I am a rock in the true sence of the word...I'm a ROCK hehehe

I will go again on Saturday morning

also going to join a walking group in Spreydon go out socailly on a Monday night..hope that means not hard at it and critical of slow walkers but hey give it a go.

Food sucks not helped at all by my home situation. Need a job so I can change that...applied for a call centre job dnt know when or if I'll here about that. I have sent my CV off to a couple of places too.

I have a slow day today (excepting house work of course ick) going for coffee and catch up at 2 with a girl that use to wrk for my parents like a million years ago she contacted me b4 Xmas will be nice to see here but oh my god she was only a kid when she wrked for them now she is like 47 how did that happen.

Sunday night having some friends around for pot luck tea so that is going to be awesome and should be lots of fun...happy birthday to me-Sunday I will be 51 ick how things have changed in a year...Alan put on a BBQ last year this year he hasnt even remembered its my b/day last year Anthony and Sarah was over from Aussie (not for my b/day just happened to be same time) now he not even speaking to me,last year I had security this year I have none. ok off that subject it is getting me down.

Just had a call from my eating councillor so made an appointment for tomorrow morning so a busy day tomorrow (just as well today is a quiet one) pool at 8.30 councoller at 10.30 face waxing and head shoulder and neck massage(my bday present to me) at 2 and acrylic nails at 4 groceries on way home. I guess things are back to normal

ok off to clean the loo how delightful, usually a Saturday chore but busy Saturday so off I go...have a great day

joined an online weight loss support group

I need all the support I can get right now. Life is throwing me curly challenges and I am not dealing with them so great.

Have been to the pool for aqua jogging several times already this year.
I am going to a zumba class tomorow evening (will give it a try again see how the knee holds up)
Trying to do a walk 3 times a week 2-5k's
The wind has been so ick lately to much trouble to get on the bike.

Food is harder to deal too.

My goals for this week are:
Keep up my suppliments
2 litres water day
Remember to eat
Get some sleep

1 more day of this year left

well this year is nearly over.
I have 2 parties to go to New Years Eve.
I am house sitting for my girlfriend so a bit of releif from the pain and pressure..but it has to be done I have to ask Alan to leave my home. He is communicating with smut and I cant deal with that. That filth in my home isnt appropriate and guess what he couldnt stop when we were in a partnership and he supposedly loved me he isnt going to stop ever. So i have to ask him to leave. I am so worried about being away and how my home will be when I get back one of the reasons to not say anythng b4 I going to housesit. rambling over.

thanks for your support and contact re this I feel such a looser


some good news heheh

I was given a pretty dress from Pagani(think that the right spelling)size 18 and it fits That is a brand that does normal fittings sizes dnt even to over sized clothes
whaky doo

There was something I was going to actually say here but now cant remember what it was.

Sad lonely lump of lard

well it has been a while since I posted but there has been a reason.
I havent had anything positive to say and still dont for that matter.

I came back from Palmerston North and was slapped in the face with a wet fish well felt like it....to be told I wasnt in a relationship any more he decided it was over. Ok yup I know that for the best no longer under the influence of the cheating lying prick but still hurts still miss him at night still blame myself.

We have stayed in the flat until Xmas as such because we had told Brooke father christmas was going here with her presents and to close to change her thoughts without confusion the kid has very little stability in her life. It was bloody hard I tell you trying to pretend happy families. i had bought heaps of stuff for brooke for christmas but only gave her 3 parcels and her santa sack (which contained mostly stuff I had bought) the rest will be placed on trade me and i'll get my money back. Now I dnt know where we go from here...I cant afford to live here on my own(actually not sure I can afford to live any where) So financially staying flatting makes sence but oh it is hard. Knowing he is txting and emailing someone else over 600 txt in 5 days tell me that is innocent and harmless friend ship.

eating way to much shit

close that for now, couple of wines and thinking makes for tears and sadness

crap on tv might watch dvd Rainman perhaps




hAD