went shopping for black pants but came home woth a bra it was black but wont cover much of me bum bing it is a size 16c and all down from 22dd

yahhhhoooo 16c 16c 16c 16c 16c

working sucks
I am stuffed
I am tired
I am sore
I am to old for this shit

went to dentist yesterday and had another tooth out dentist was amazed at how big the root was and it took a lot of heeving to remove it he showed it to me and yup it was a biggun for sure...took it home but the tooth fairy didnt leave me nothing typical. So its soft food for me for a few days-but how come my brain says that means I can eat icecream...havnt even thought ice cream in months but straight away oh yeah means i can eat ice cream-having yogurt as we speak.

had a nice night out at pub on Wednesday I'll be going again yes yes yes music was good and nice company. best bit is my shift at work is such that I dnt start thrusday until 3.30pm so I can go out wednesday night and it not affect my sleep heheh

got a few chores to attend to today that have been building up, while I was sick. I have mountain of washing to take to laundrette to dry towels and sheets mainly. Small stuff I can put on clothes horse(dnt have a line here) but the sheets and towels go around crn to laundrette $4 a load and its done but will be more toady cause there is at least 3 loads. While washing is cooking I'll shoot to countdown (guess shopping at c/down will feel like being a traitor now like when I got to briscoe or bath and beyond) they have boneless chicken breast on specail and they had none at pak n save yesterday and I forgot to get feta cheese yesterday. Then home to do the mountain of dishes that seem to have appeared on the bench over night where do they come from...

got a linen party tonight just around road so that will be nice to not have to travel to far

at last an up in my life...I got a job, not a wonderful job by any means but it might be the difference between buying food and clothes. I will be a checkout chick at pak'n'save told ya it wasn't glamorous. Go in to sign my paper work and pick up uniform on Monday start tuesday but i will be telling them I am not available to work Nov 18-20 cause I am in Palmerston Nth not missing that for anything.

ok I am out of here off out dancing at local pub with a few gals from singles group, wasnt going to go then thought bugger it y not just cause I only got $7 to my name doesnt mean I have to stay at home and mope.

dont know how far I'll get but...

here goes.

September 2nd sitting up at 3am because I have the cough from hell and lie down makes me cough more...my throat is so sore from heavy breathing and coughing.

Where am I at otherwise-Well i am living at my girlfriends house. A lovely girlfriend she is to let me live here..she now lives out of town and house was empty. I had a very rough 6mths or so after Alan and I split up and still days when I'd go back if he was to ask, knowing all the time this is toxic and the wrong thing. I miss what i wanted from him(hadn't had it for a long time but still miss it) I also miss Brooke, so arranged a catch up (thru her mother)with her last week when Mum was in town so that was very special and I hope to do it again not often but maybe once before Xmas hell that not far away.

And the weight well i am a size 18 I am weighing in at 97.9 and I am feeling bloody marvellous...some days I still think fat and ugly but nice clothes etc help conquer those thoughts. like tonight I was at a meeting the face heater came on over my head making me cough I got up to sit on another chair (white plastic picnic chair you all know the type we fear) I thought I cant sit in that it will break and then thought ah hello that is the old fat you this you wont break a chair this you there is room in it this you can be comfortable sitting in it without fear.