HAPPY EASTER fellow bloggers

I have had a day that has given me a sence of acheivement (has broken my back too but feel good at the same time) In all the years Jimmy and I didn lawn mowing I never touched the weedeater it wasnt my job I never wanted to learn even how to start it...today I weekeated and weed sprayed my drive and I live in a back section so its not a short drive...I feel like my back is brocken dont think I mentioned that heheh but I dun it all by myself...the weed line thingy and I still are negotiating who is boss at the moment i am lossing but we will see about that next time.one thing at a time I say. I agree that the weedeater is only electric where as Jimmy's one where bloody big petrol things one u needed a harness to hold it on ya back oit was so big and a killer thing but my little petrol one and me will become friends soon perhaps.

Going to plant my tulip bilbs mum bought me for easter eggs next tuli bulbs not so hard on the calories and in a few months I'll enjoy the beautiful flowers. I also have some freesias to plant LOVE THEM and couldnt grow them in twizel dispite trying for many years before giving up had some in the flat but left them when I moved out from Alan

Off out tonight to a singles doo at the casino so after planting the bulbs I'm having a long hot soak in the bath and doing nothing else this afternoon gotta look my best after all

Oh by the way for those that knew Anthony(my son), was in Chch for the weekend nope never heard from him not a whisper so guess now I'll have to just eat the caromello chocolate I bought hime MYSELF.

ok back out into the garden before my body completley seizzes(sp) up

my fitnesss pal

I listened to a webinar with Annette Sym (Symply to good to be true) last night and she reminded me about the myfitnesspal website so I started loading my foods in again hhhmmm we see we are not eating as well as we thinks we is so hopefully it will get me motivated again. Went to pool yesterday

Having a sleep over with the girls on Tuesday so excted about that I have so much fun when they r here giggling gertties and I'm sure my bathroom only dried out from there last visit heheh

got no 'plans' as such for Easter as I am working Saturday but hope to go out Sunday night a singles group thing at Casino..have a mountain of washing to catch up with too.

April 5, 2012

Foods

Calories

Carbs

Fat

Protein

Cholest

Sodium

Sugars

Fiber




Breakfast



Yogurt - Plain, low fat (1% fat), 0.5 container (4 oz)

71

8g

2g

6g

7mg

79mg

8g

0g



Coffee - Black, 6 fl oz

0

1g

0g

0g

0mg

5mg

0g

0g



Peaches - Raw, 1 cup slices

66

16g

0g

2g

0mg

0mg

14g

3g



Kellogg's - Bran Flakes, 15 g

54

27g

1g

4g

0mg

240mg

4g

5g



Lunch



Homemade - Beef Stew Meat, 1 oz

33

0g

1g

5g

65mg

46mg

0g

0g



Cauliflower - Cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 0.5 cup (1" pieces)

14

3g

0g

1g

0mg

9mg

1g

2g



Heinz - Traditional Broad Beans (Frozen), 18.75 g

10

0g

0g

1g

0mg

1mg

0g

1g



Carrots - Cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 1 tbsp

3

1g

0g

0g

0mg

6mg

0g

0g



Dinner



Arnold's - Healthy Multi-Grain - Honey Wheat Bread, 2 slice

200

40g

3g

8g

0mg

340mg

4g

6g



Cheese - Colby, 2 slice (1 oz)

221

1g

18g

13g

53mg

338mg

0g

0g



Meadow Lea - Margarine, 10 g

57

1g

7g

1g

0mg

59mg

1g

0g



Ham - Sliced, regular (approximately 11% fat), 2 serving 2 slices

183

4g

10g

19g

64mg

1,460mg

0g

1g



Snacks



Fruju - Fruit Whip - Pineapple & Passionfruit, 94 ml

58

14g

0g

0g

0mg

5mg

13g

0g



Rj's Licorice - Licorice Choc Logs, 2 log (40g)

306

58g

7g

3g

0mg

88mg

40g

2g



Fruit - Banana -Medium, 1 whole

105

27g

0g

1g

0mg

1mg

14g

3g




TOTAL:

1,381

201g

49g

64g

189mg

2,677mg

99g

23g


Food Notes

if I didnt have my snacks today my fibre and sugar would have been nearly spot on what in those snack were needed hhhmmm note to self

feeling great

well how could u not the sun is out its a glorious day and I have it off I am off for lunch with friends went to movies last night seen the exotic Marigold Hotel with Judi Dench and Maggie Smith as I assumed it would be a delightful movie...then went on to a couple of bars home about midnight...now tell me why I consumed a big bag of potato crisps when I got home after such a great night and feeling good gggrrr I am/was so angry with myself. This morning when I got up I threw the remainder of bag (not much) in the red rubbish bin with all the crapp rubbish which is what they r

Mum is doing ok suppose to be taking it easy but she was washing net curtains the other day ggrr. Her sist is there visiting this week which of course why she was stressing about the house being spotless but it will be good for her to have them there

right best go get this body trussed up and looking glam and gorgeous takes longer these days to get dress cause i give a toss about my appearance not like the old days didnt care what I wore. and i LOVE it

well Paul swanned in here this morning looking very sheepish...I suspect he had been contacted by the police cause he knew I had been to see them...he had been with someone who cared he said-FUCK did that hurt. We spoke, mostly loudly on my part whch pissed me off cause I didnt want to loose it but I was so tired and upset about him and Mum I did loose it, he said he probably wouldnt meet a kinder person I said yeah u probably wont but dont worry he had fixed that-kindness isnt going to be topp of my 'to do' list in the future (of course that isnt what will happen because I can't help myself)

He wasnt very happy that his stuff was at his daughters TOUGH. He being with his father was all a lie he never seen him.

I told him that I was just a stop gab until he found something else and the last 11 months was just a game to him he denied it but that is how I feel.

I was upset while he was here hurt angry and lots of other emotions. But after he left I turned on Savage Garden really loud (so Chris in heavan and I could listen together) I washed the dishes I tidied the bench etc and put out side his microwave piece of junk I had forgotten when packing his shit. bloody great heavy thing took up 3/4 of bench wasnt wat we needed. Then I went and had a shower I was so cold and then had a sleep for couple hours feel loads better.

I rung the police while he was here to tell them he had turned up...they rang back an hour or so later to see that I was alright.

He is to 'find' my bike and I'll give him the passports back he wasnt happy about that. Not sure what he meant by that.

he said as he left he'd keep in touch I laughed and said that was a load of shit he couldnt keep in touch when we were together.

I was way to upset to drive to Timaru so i rung Mum again she sounded disapointed but understood...she was also relieved he wasnt dead in a ditch as was I and I said that to him when I opened the door oh well your not dead then.

Another one to put down to experience when and if I ever find someoen else boy will they have some boxes to tick b4 I get past getting to know them.

oh for fuck sake

how much more can I take

at 3 this afternoon I offically listed Paul as missing with the police lots of red tape and questions i didnt want to answer but they were very supportive etc

then I went to my councilling and aired a few things and sorted my head a bit driving home from there and get a txt from my aunty ring Twizel NOW what the fuck so rung to be told Mum was in an ambulance on way to Timaru probably heart attack havn't rung yet cause she will hardly be there yet so going to have a bath and then ring but just had to blab to someone cant post on face book cause my son may see it and he hasnt been rung yet I just rung him thats a call I didnt want to make hes in Sydney very close to his grandma and u could tell he was in shock...his job is driving so hope he ok...he was coming oveer end of month for a Wedding hope he doesnt have to come sooner.

god I'm all tied in knots now and really stressing-still havnt heard a peep for him I did the big I am thing this morning got up packed all his stuff wasnt much only took just over 20 minutes dropped it at his daughters as I sadi I would the grand gesture but I am truely really worried now so much so i rung the cops he will kill me when he finds out. He hasnt to there knowledge been in an accident she took lots of details and if he hasnt arrived at wrk tomorrow we will list him as missing god what have i done now he will kill me


Had a lovely day between stressing...cleaned the pantry like ya do when worrying
striped the bed wahsed all the linen etc vacummed thru tried keeping busy talked on phone for couple hours to a friend and my mum trying to keep busy

then I took Brooke to the beach for a couple hours took my moind off things for a while had a nice time even walked on the peir I have never mustered up enough courage to EVER do that

right I am exhausted and need to at least try and get some sleep if no other reason i have wrk tomorrow and if he does turn up I dnt want to be so tired i cant keep focused...oh boy is my councillor gonna earn her money tomroow

well a day of cleansing and not a toxic chemical in site

some more decluttering done here hehhe

I had a boarder well that has how its felt for last few months any ways a boarder in my bed...he moved in (not completely just stuff and most nights but an invasion all the same) not sure how I let it happen but it did well after great deliberation and thought filled sleepless nights I have moved what stuff that was here out onto deck and if it isnt gone by this afternoon I'll drop it around to his daughters.

I dont know if he is dead or alive no police reports accidents or death noticed listed I have looked online as ya do

I left here on Wednesday to go out for the day I had already made arrangments he was 'sick' so didnt go to work...i got home about 4 he wasnt here neither was my bike and helmet I might add (He will get back his passport when I get my bike back) So I cooked tea as usual and ate tea alone, got a txt about 8 to say he was at airport picking up his father (coming over from Ozie for a family birthday on the 17th) he and his father didnt have a great relationship so I replied great hope it goes well. Never heard another word until the tursday night I'll be back Friday
um from where I asked no reply...I suspect they he and his dad went to Geraldine or Timaru another elderly family friend had a fall last week broke leg/hip/arm something like that and was in Timaru hospital...just my thoughts I hadnt been told anything. So i thought ok see ya Friday we'll talk then but i'll be giving till Sunday (making time for his family birthday which I might add I hadnt been invited to to happen) well he never came rung txt or didnt any other form of communication Friday Saturday and at 8.35 Sunday i packed his stuff nicely in a case and some bags (shoes etc) and they r on the deck. i am a bit miffed that I never got to say my speech I had prepared and practised but hey never mind.

I meet him on the 19th April last year so just shy of 11months of good and bad times a waste of time

check out the new ticker GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL
on my face book photos I wrote proud of myself and I am not something I say often also realised it is the lowest adult weight I have ever been
HOW COOL AND AMAZING IS THAT

after cleaning house and shifting around more of my crap actually it the same crap each time just trying to find ahome for it all-culled a bit more and its rubbish bin night so went out in the dark and filled several of the neighbours bins as well as mine, but still a shit load of crap to sort thru. anyhow after 2 days of that my house looks almost presentable...even managed to get spare bed up with pretty linen on it yippee maybe I can invite people to visit now.

Took myself to dinner at Lonestar (Johny Cash Stash yummo) and the movies tonight - went and seen the George Clooney movie the Desendents ok sorta movie few laughs few tears

Nothing much planned for tomorrow might go over and do some aqua jogging and have a spa at JellyPark Pool-none of my usual Monday appointments are on cause of the public holiday. Getting my hair coloured on Thursday which is my usual pool day and wont be able to go the following week either cause got other stuff on.

While at walking group last Thursday I seen a lovely print I am going to buy so maybe I'll go get it tomorrow...its cherry red poppies will brighten up my lounge and as everyone keeps telling me I dnt need ANYMORE CLOTHES SHOES OR HANDBAGS a print for the wall might have to be it.

Well as it is 12.42am all of the tomorrow statements should really read today. think it might be bed time for this chick/chook good night all

had a great lunch with the WLS support group agan as usual yummy roast pumpkin and feta salad of course bought more home than I ate so tea is sorted just cook salmon and avocardo sweet easy peasy

had a buzz moment on Thursday posted on facebook so most of u wll have seen it but wanted to record it here for me when i having a bad day an d go back over my posts

got to hairdresser and the waiting area was full only 1 seat left on the small couch sat down no problem no squishing the other lady infact we didnt even touch no uncomfortable moment just sat there doing a wee internal yeah moment and happy dance...while talking about it today I was reminded of a time at troy's hair dressers in Twizel when his chair broke under my weight so he would have a stronger kitchen chair for me to sit in when I would come to the salon he was very good and didnt ever make a big fuss but it was a FAT moment I had forgotten...normal moments are taking over.

was suppose to go to a duathlon but when I woke and it was blowing I snuggled back into bed and said nup I dont want ta go

ok off to cook my salmon

just to keep me accountable i'll post this too...

• as of today 13/01/2012 a new goal has been set

2012 I will;
Eat better
More veges
More pulses
Less chocolate and sweets
Cook meals for work
Chicken/fish 8x a week
Eat off smaller plate again
Eat slower
Drink water

Join walking group at Riccarton Mall
Walk 2 work 3x week
Go to Aqua classes pioneer/jelly pool
Bike 10k track at Hagley Park at least once a week

Starting weight 97k
2012 loss 12k
Goal 85k

By January 2013
1k a month loss
Total overall loss 87k

been a good few days
food has been ok
walked to wrk
water has been up still not fantastic but up
no chocolate or lollies have had a couple of frujus after wrk

ive set up a new bank account $20 a week till January called it 85 fund i will do something special just for me not sure what yet

I'm off tomorrow to buy new pair of shoes

• as of today 13/01/2012 a new goal has been set

2012 I will;
Eat better
More veges
More pulses
Less chocolate and sweets
Cook meals for work
Chicken/fish 8x a week
Eat off smaller plate again
Eat slower
Drink water

Join walking group at Riccarton Mall
Walk 2 work 3x week
Go to Aqua classes pioneer/jelly pool
Bike 10k track at Hagley Park at least once a week

Starting weight 97k
2012 loss 12k
Goal 85k

By January 2013
1k a month loss
Total overall loss 87k